10:45am: Britney Spears gets a police escort as she exits LAX.

11:01am: Oops! Britney Spears remembers she left her bra in the airplane bathroom. Again.

11:20am: Britney Spears pumps gas for the paparazzi. Like a regular person.

11:30-11:31am: Oops! Britney Spears remembers she forgot her panties in the airplane bathroom. Again.

1:00-1:15pm: Britney Spears exercises in preparation for her session.

1:20-3:00pm: Britney Spears tans in preparation for her session.

3:00-3:15pm: Britney Spears carefully inspects her tans lines in preparation for her session.

3:15-3:18pm: Britney Spears has her session. With some dude.

3:18-3:25pm: Britney Spears does the walk of shame. Or pretends to.

4:52pm: Britney Spears gives the middle finger. To her fans. The paparazzi.

5:52pm: Photo of Britney Spears nipples. Which are nowhere to be found.

6:52pm: Britney Spears looking pretty in pink.

6:52pm: Britney Spears not looking pretty in pink. From a different angle.

8:02-8:52pm: Britney Spears gives herself a Brazilian. On her head.

9:30-10:12pm: Britney Spears gives us the evil eyes.

11:30-11:59pm: Britney Spears attacks the paparazzi. For caring too much.