Yesterday I took my daily walk to a pond that shall remain nameless. Let's just call it the swampy wetland from hell. My fellow Washingtonians know what I'm talking about.

As I was enjoying the lush greenery, the quacking of ducks, and the sad, disappointed expressions of children whose parents chose to drag them from museum to museum instead of taking them to Disneyland, I opened my mouth, as I am prone to do, to inhale the fresh summer air.

And that's when it happened.

I had swallowed a fly. And not any old fly. A damn big one. I quickly tried to spit it out, but it was too late. The fly was inside me, working down my gullet and into my stomach and other assorted body parts.

Naturally I blamed Kevin Bacon. And so should you.

But once I got past my bitterness, which usually takes 3-5 hours, I chose to avail myself of the vast amount of information available, I hear, on the Internet about stuff other than celebrity gossip and shameless, gratuitous photos of people acting crazy.

Shockingly, dozens of sites popped up in my Google search.

Let's start with the photo below.

I ate every part without even chewing. And so have you.

According to reputable sources, human beings accidentally eat two pounds of bugs a year. Since most bugs aren't as heavy as my fly, which, according to my scale weighed nearly one pound, since that's what I did NOT lose yesterday despite wanting to really bad, well, that's a lot of damn bugs for anyone to be eating.

The question is, will all this insect eating harm us, our ability to reproduce, or, most importantly, make us fat?

The Fly with Jeff Goldblum. If you can't eat 'em, join 'em.

According to reputable scientists, the answer depends.

As you eat your quarter-quarter-quarter pound of insects today, (2 pounds / 365 days; do the math!), just remember, a fly is not as cute and cuddly as we've been led to believe by popular culture.

But assuming you haven't eaten one of the 75,000+ varieties of poisonous insects found in most households, or you weren't doped with some potent Spanish Fly by some creepo at a bar, or, and this one's important, you weren't attacked by one of the freaky alien-insects often featured in movies with Jeff Goldblum, you should be okay.

After all is said and done, bugs are mostly protein, which makes them an important part of the Atkins Diet. And The Zone. And...since these diets are approved by Oprah that means eating bugs is officially endorsed by Oprah. And only a nut would badmouth the Big O.