« Scared Straight, the Jack Nicholson Edition »
Jack Nicholson putting the MOO in man boobs.
Getting older kind of sucks. Getting fatter, even more so. That's why I am forcing myself, and you, to look at these photos of our country's most beloved badass thespian, Jack Nicholson, as he wades in the water and waddles about the beach.
I love you Jack, but you're richer than sin and have 24x7 access to personal trainers, massages, with or without happy endings, YOUR call, nutritionists, world-class chefs, spin instructors, steroids and such AND not to mention, you're Jack F'ing Nicholson, baby. So what the hell is going on?
PAUSE FOR RESEARCH. SERIOUSLY.
Just checked and Jack Nicholson is 71! Damn, screw it, forget about it. I take back all the advice. For him anyway. For me, I'd like to not be so damn fat so I'll still publish this as a note to self, if nothing else.
Gots to go: gorging on sandwiches; Gots to stay: alcohol, almost zero calories.
And just in case I ever want to work in Hollywood, no matter how remote that might seem at the moment...
Jack Nicholson, you are still The Man. All the haters can go piss up a rope, as they used to say in, what, the 1950s maybe, 'cause you're still doing great movies, and costars, and your courtside seats for the Lakers are lifetime, baby.
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