« Randy Jackson Invented "Dawg" »

American Idol's Randy Jackson in a moment of reflection. Dawg.

"I invented the word 'Dawg.'"

This stunning claim was recently made by none other than Randy Jackson, one of the judges on the hit television show American Idol.

"Before me, you only heard people saying 'dog' like they were referring to the animal," explained Randy Jackson. "Then one day I called one of my dawgs "dawg" and he was like 'what, man?' and I was like 'damn, dawg, I just invented a new word."

Randy Jackson had maintained a public silence about his invention for years, but decided to come out of the closet when rapper Snoop Dogg began claiming to be the word's inventor. "Shhittt, I love Snoop and he's my boy," said Randy Jackson. "But he is the D-O double G, you see. I am the D-A-W-G dawg. Big difference, Dawg."

Continued Randy Jackson, "I am more famous than Tito and Jermaine Jackson of the Jackson Five. Their other brother, Randy, wishes he was me. That dude's just a piece of dog crap on my $3,500 Bruno Magli shoe. And, yes, that's one shoe, Dawg!"

See also Simon's Secret, Clay's Not Gay and Kara vs. Paula.