« Paula Abdul: Drink Up, Talk Crazy, Know Your Role! »

American Idol's Paula Abdul back when she kept it real.

Where have you gone, Paula Abdul? You've been polite, sober and semi-coherent so far on American Idol. In other words, boring as hell. Forget about Kara and the critics, refill your flask with bourbon, and say whatever the hell comes to mind, consequences be damned. You're there to make people roll their eyes and give Simon something to goof on.

If you need a reminder, here's one of your classic American Idol quotes about your buddy Simon Cowell. "I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry and he's got Mad Power Disease."

Give people something to talk about, or you might soon find yourself touring county fairs with Ruben Studdard and Taylor Hicks of the Soul Patrol.

See also Simon Says, Top Dawg and Disco Clay.