« Natalie Portman, So Hot, Want to Touch the Hiney »

That damn Natalie is so hot right now.

Natalie Portman must service herself like ten times a day. For serious.

Or as Natalie herself would put it, if she had just watched Zoolander:

I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.

See also Dog Attacks Natalie and The Groupie Confession.