« EXCLUSIVE: Sarah Palin Was the Original Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island »

A much younger Sarah Palin on the set of Gilligan's Island.

In a stunning exclusive, several individuals associated with Gilligan's Island, the legendary sitcom from the 1970s revolving around seven individuals stranded on a deserted isle that was primitive as can be -- primitive as can be -- revealed that the Republican presidential candidate John McCain's choice for vice president, Sarah Palin, was in fact the original actress to play Mary Ann.

These alleged sources revealed that Sarah Palin quit the show during filming of the pilot episode after several heated arguments with Bob Denver, the actor who played Gilligan, over Gilligan's prolific smoking of doobies on the set.

Sarah Palin was quickly replaced by Bob Denver's close friend, Dawn Wells, who like Gilligan, was somewhat infamous for her prolific doobie smoking on the set.

For some reason the Hollywood operator refused to give us the phone number of either Bob Denver or Dawn Wells, two notorious doobie smokers who were both later arrested for their copious consumption of said doobies.

Sarah Palin looking good and happy despite her Gilligan experience.

After leaving Gilligan's Island, Sarah Palin ended up in Alaska somehow, got married, popped out five kids, shot wild animals and fished 'em too, and then became governor.

And she accomplished all this...without smoking a single doobie. So take that and shove it up your doobie bong, Bob Denver and Dawn Wells!

This comedy blog will continue to report the news as it occurs to us.

See also Obama vs. Bush's Brain.