« EXCLUSIVE: Clay Aiken Is So Not Gay »

American Idol Clay Aiken celebrity-gropes a hot chick.

In a shocking twist, Clay Aiken of American Idol fame has just become the first high-profile gay celebrity to return to the heterosexual fold.

The Clay Aiken-gropes-chick-boobs photo above was distributed literally seconds ago to literally thousands of bloggers, major news outlets and even the world's most famous blogger, Matt Drudge of the Drudge Report -- basically anyone who doesn't fact check -- in a worldwide public relations campaign to demonstrate Clay Aiken's lack of gayness.

Why Clay Aiken's people decided to do this nobody yet knows. Although it has been said that all publicity is good publicity and, including the headline of this post about Clay Aiken going straight, this blog has already written Clay Aiken's name, Clay Aiken, at least eight times.

Lesbian for 2008 Lindsay Lohan, the clock's ticking on your reconversion to non-fake ones. I hear Clay Aiken is still available. But you better act fast if you want to be a Claymate.

Nine. And a half.

See also Simon's Dirty Secret and Kara vs. Paula.