« Chris Brown Has a New Girlfriend? »

Welcome to the future, Chris Brown.

When he is doing time on lock, Chris Brown might remember the on-stage action with this not-so-hot-but-at-least-she-doesn't-have-a-dick-I-think groupie as the good old days.

Oh wait, Chris Brown falls into the rich-and-famous celebrity category, so maybe we should wait and see here. No doubt he's got high-powered lawyers already plotting out his defense.

As for his ex-girlfriend, or maybe not so ex-girlfriend, according to The National Enquirer, let's just hope Rihanna comes out of this okay.

Otherwise, the dude who did this should disappear awhile. Say maybe three-to-five years.

Or he could go fuck himself.

See also The Other Midget Mac.