Hot female Olympians from some country drink Tequila.

In a stunning email from some foreign-sounding dude with an official-sounding title -- Wait, is Slavka a dude's name? -- anyway, dude declared that Tequila is the unofficial alcoholic beverage of the 2008 Summer Games in China!

Or at least the Olympic Village, which is where the action really goes down, at least if you believe that weird looking dude, Bruce Jenner, who allegedly was the face of Wheaties before he bought his new face a few years ago, and supposedly got a gold in the Decathlon 40 or 50 years ago, from the looks of his neck.

What the hell? Clearly, someone gave me bad info! Bruce Jenner hasn't aged a day! Zero wrinkles from head to toe!

Um, yes, and the above statement has nothing to do with my finally, for once, taking the advice of legal counsel.

So drink up, you Tequila fans! And even you non-fans, for I'm sure there are a few of you too. I know I am and will continue to do so, meaning I'll be drinking shots and shots of Tequila, until the above photo is jarred from my consciousness, or me out of mine.

And in conclusion, yes, I apologize for this photo or, as they might say in Old Mexico, the birthplace of Tequila, "Holy Shit, Man!"

That's like asking if I want my drink refilled. Or if I'm a fan of The Motorboat!

The correct answer, of course, is "YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT."

It's hard to believe but NFL training camp is just around the corner. In the interests of serving Doe-Nuts, we've put together some funny announcing cliches to help step up your commentary while watching games with your buddies. To get a head start, click here.

In the meantime, hopefully my Washington Redskins don't suck this year, although with Coach/Team President Joe Gibbbs retiring, this seems like a very sad and distinct possibility.

But enough bitching and moaning about Washington "sports" teams...

Who is your favorite NFL team and, perhaps more importantly, what's your beverage of choice while watching them play?

It's the biggest sports day of the year, bar none. A few billion people worldwide will be tuned in. Football fans will be in front of the television, eating, drinking and being merry, not to mention talking smack about their favorite teams, and hoping they cover the point spread.

Sure, fans wonder whether Tom Brady will lead the Patriots to victory and an undefeated season or will the Giants pull off the upset.

But what do fans REALLY care about? Well, it's what the celebrities think about the big game, of course! So here, in their own words, and without further adieu: Top 10 Super Bowl Sunday Celebrity Predictions:

10. Britney Spears: Look at me! What about me? Look at me! What about me? Look at me! What about me? Look at me!

9. Paris Hilton: I'm hosting a Super Bowl Party. It's hot. You should come. Hee hee. I'm so hot!

8. Simon Cowell: Paula Abdul will have an equipment malfunction. Her microphone will actually work.

8. Michael Jackson: Playing with kids and their super balls...now that's a Thriller. Who's bad?

7. Chuck "the Iceman" Liddell: Patriots win by knockout. Got a problem?

6. John McCain: This game could last 100 years.

5. Hillary Clinton: The New York Giants will win! But it will be a very close game! Both teams are already winners in my book! Vote Tuesday!

3. David Hasselhoff: The Hoff says, 'Make it a double.' Go Giants!

2. Matt Damon: The Patriots will win going away. Not even close. Kind of like the Damon vs. Ben Affleck.

1. Tom Brady: Patriots 48; Giants 17; Tom Brady 2 hot models later tonight!

Feel free to chime in with your predictions too. Whoever makes the craziest prediction that actually comes true will actually be boozing on my dime whenever we actually hang out. Have fun, drink and eat up, and enjoy the game!

It's NFL playoff time and that means one thing. Uh, besides beer and pissed off old ladies. Or dudes, I guess. Hey, it's 2008, baby.

So the football playoffs mean three things. Numero III is that we'll soon be hearing EVERYONE, from football announcers and players to the dude at the watercooler to your own grandma, spouting off the same good old football cliches.

Here are the 110 best (or worst) football cliches. Learn these and you're halfway qualified to be an NFL announcer yourself. At the very least you'll fit right in at any football house party, game or sports bar.

1. The road to the Super Bowl goes through CITY.

2. There's a quarterback controversy on this team.

3. They have to play ball-control offense.

4. They have to establish their running game.

5. They have to stop the big play.

6. They need to dominate the line of scrimmage.

7. They have to pound it out on the ground.

8. They need to air it out more.

9. They have to open up the passing lanes.

10. They have to take care of the football.

11. They should just go out and execute.

12. They have to make plays on both sides of the ball.

13. They should go out there and play smash-mouth football.

14. They have to stick to their game plan.

15. They should throw their game plan out the window.

16. It's a low, line-drive kick.

17. The ball went off the side of his foot.

18. The ball takes a TEAM bounce.

19. They're going to call a timeout to ice the kicker.

20. This should be a chip shot for him.

21. That kick splits the uprights.

22. It's decision time for the TEAM.

23. They're in the hurry-up offense.

24. They're trying to milk the clock.

25. They're in no hurry at all.

26. The defense is showing blitz.

27. That keeps the drive alive.

28. It all depends on where they spot the ball.

29. They're marching down the field.

30. They've got to punch it in here.

31. They'll have to settle for three.

32. You really want to come away with some points when you're this close.

33. Let's see if QUARTERBACK can orchestrate a comeback.

34. Now they've got some room to operate.

35. The defense must make a stand.

36. He bulls his way for extra yardage.

37. He's overdue to break one.

38. He shook off several would-be tacklers.

39. Nobody laid a glove on him.

40. You could have driven a truck through that hole.

41. He'll be buying dinner for the whole offensive line after this game.

42. QUARTERBACK has all day back there.

43. QUARTERBACK has all kinds of time.

44. QUARTERBACK has all the time in the world.

45. QUARTERBACK is directing traffic.

46. Great read by QUARTERBACK.

47. QUARTERBACK is spreading the wealth.

48. QUARTERBACK had a man wide open downfield.

49. QUARTERBACK had to check off his receivers.

50. That was a circus catch.

51. That was a timing pattern.

52. Great touch on that pass.

53. That was a pinpoint pass.

54. QUARTERBACK hit him right on the numbers.

55. QUARTERBACK threw a strike.

56. That pass was right on the money.

57. They pay him to make those catches.

58. He's usually a sure-handed receiver.

59. That looked like a missed assignment.

60. That looked like a blown coverage.

61. He ran out of real estate.

62. You wonder how much punishment QUARTERBACK can absorb.

63. That was an ill-advised pass.

64. He'd like to have that one back.

65. He threw up a prayer.

66. He threw into double-coverage.

67. QUARTERBACK threw that one up for grabs.

68. QUARTERBACK is trying to force the ball.

69. QUARTERBACK telegraphed that pass.

70. We've got a late flag.

71. That's a costly turnover.

72. He'll try to tack on the extra point.

73. That missed extra point could come back to haunt them.

74. Great second effort!

75. That was a game saving tackle.

76. Their defense is starting to assert itself.

77. Their defense is tough in the red zone.

78. This game is being won in the trenches.

79. These guys are going mano a mano.

80. It's a game of field position.

81. You can see the frustration starting to set in.

82. Looks like we've got some extra-curricular activity on the field.

83. We hope that cooler heads prevail.

84. They have a few choice words for each other.

85. They're just exchanging pleasantries.

86. He was blind-sided.

87. That hit really cleaned his clock.

88. Welcome to the NFL.

89. They really laid him out on that hit.

90. He ran into a brick wall.

91. He's slow getting up.

92. He's walking rather gingerly.

93. Looks like we've got a player shaken up.

94. We don't know the extent of his injuries.

95. They can ill-afford to lose him.

96. He left the field under his own power.

97. He's gonna feel that one on Monday.

98. He's listed at 320, but that's before breakfast.

99. It's a pretty simple game. All you have to do is score more points than the other guys.

100. He's not just fast, he's quick.

101. The officials take a lot of criticism, but they usually get it right.

102. It all comes down to which team wants to win it more.

103. There's no quit in this team.

104. I would have gone for the field goal, but maybe that's why I'm up here and the coaches are down there.

105. It's a shame somebody has to lose this game.

106. They're no longer playing to win. Now they're playing not to lose.

107. There are only two minutes left, but in football, two minutes is a lifetime.

108. This might be a mismatch on paper, but they don't play the game on paper.

109. It's only a yard, but it's a long yard.

And, last but not least:

110. If this game goes into overtime, either team could win.