Finally, the Democratic Party has united! In a stunning new campaign video, the two leading candidates for the Democratic nomination for president, Senators Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, have decided to give peace a chance!

This joint campaign video clearly demonstrates that someone, somewhere, must be listening to my political advice, for once, and STOP WHINING ABOUT THE OTHER CAMPAIGNS.

In this remarkable campaign video, aptly entitled I'm Fucking Obama and patterned after the infamous Sara Silverman video, I'm Fucking Matt Damon, which was followed by the even more scandalous Jimmy Kimmel video, I'm Fucking Ben Affleck, the Clinton and Obama campaigns have joined forces to end what has seemed like years of nonstop bitching and moaning.

So, please, let us follow their lead and get some Kumbaya up in this motherfucker. Doe-Nuts, clearly WE are now controlling this election. Let's use our power wisely, or at least score some decent bribes, er, political advertising dollars!

If you haven't been paying attention, a celebrity sex scandal has been playing out before our very eyes. Or so these fame-hungry celebrities would have us believe.

Allegedly, Sarah Silverman was fucking Matt Damon. This pissed off her boyfriend, comedian and late night television host, Jimmy Kimmel, as well as Ben Affleck, Matt Damon's best Hollywood friend.

Then, Carrot Top admitted that he was, in fact, screwing Sarah Silverman.

At the same time, Jimmy Kimmel denied the allegations that he was NOT packing the heat below deck, going so far as to compare his unit with those legendary Hollywood swordsmen, Mini-Me, Gary Coleman and even the greatest of them all, Midget Mac of Flavor of Love 2.

Now, in this most recent salvo. Jimmy Kimmel sings about banging Ben Affleck in a music video with a veritable who's who of celebrities, including Harrison Ford, Dennis Kucinich and his sexy wife Elizabeth, David Hasselhoff and comedian Mike Doe, as well as B-Listers Macy Gray, Huey Lewis and Cameron Diaz. Shockingly, Hollywood hoochies Paris Hilton and Britney Spears also showed up and didn't wear underwear, according to Mike Doe, who might have been drinking. And not even there.

At this point, this celebrity beef seems pretty much squashed. Let's hope so, anyway, for all parties concerned. The first video was hilarious. The second, uh, well, to each his own, I guess.

The Kimmel-Affleck lovefest has its moments. But it's also got the clever-verging-on-creepy factor, especially with the Kimmel-Affleck near makeout session, the snuggling, and all the dude-on-dude ass grabbing.

Doe-Nuts, you've been shockingly silent so far on all this. Don't hold back. Let it all hang out, just not in a Kimmel-Affleck way. For the love of all that is holy. Please.

It's SaraH Silverman, of course, who is fucking Matt Damon. This video hit Hollywood by storm a few weeks past, but few insiders were surprised. This chick has screwed more comedians than Carlos "Ain't Never Seen No Joke He Wouldn't Copy Word-for-Word, Ese" Mencia. I mean, Sarah Silverman allegedly dated Carrot Top for chrissakes. BEFORE "he" went on steroids. And got his eyebrows done.

This time, though, the joke's on her boyfriend-slash-booking agent, Jimmy Kimmel, host of ABC's late night talk show, which is rumored to be still on the air. Reports are already circulating that Kimmel has turned to Ben Affleck for comfort, although this could just be utter nonsense made up by someone hoping for a few seconds of fleeting Internet celebrity himself. (Call me.)

To get the inside scoop on how this video has affected Matt Damon and his Hollywood best friend, Ben Affleck, click here.

To make fun of the 40-year old married virgin, Gary Coleman, click here.

To send Mike Doe lots of dough, click here.

Otherwise, click here.

It has long been Hollywood's dirtiest little secret. And no, I'm not referring to Mini-Me's infamous threeway with Flavor Flav and Bridgette Nielsen.

This secret involves two pillars of the movie's industry's A-List, two longtime friends, hell, two guys who for years have been involved in rumors of man-on-man action. Again, not talking about Flavor Flav and Bridgette Nielsen.

No, we're talking Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, two Bostonians made good who should be celebrating Super Bowl weekend together over Dom Perignon, instead of sucking on sour grapes.

As many of you know, Sarah Silverman just did a video with People's Sexiest Man, Matt Damon, called, naturally, "I'm Fucking Matt Damon." It's funny, wildly popular and sure to push Matt Damon's career to the next level.

A level beyond Ben Affleck wildest dreams.

And why did Sarah Silverman choose to fake-break-up with her boyfriend, ABC late night talk show host, Jimmy Kimmel, with Matt Damon instead of Ben Affleck. It's simple. Two words: "Dem Apples."

While not claiming the biggest apples in the entertainment business, Matt Damon has made it known around town that his apples dwarf the apples of his one-time shower buddy, Ben Affleck.

And Ben ain't happy about his second-place apples. No, he ain't.

In fact, Ben Affleck has hired a team of publicists to polish his apple image. They've already been in talks with the people behind the recent David Beckham "big johnson" advertising campaign to determine the secret behind the Beckham magic. Were they using socks? A fake one? Perhaps some Photoshopping was involved? Whatever they did, Affleck is determined to find out.

When he does, Matt Damon better watch out.

Oh, and Sarah Silverman will no doubt call Ben when he does. Cause sister is all about finding a dude with apples. Or his own TV show.

NOTE: This video is an oldie but goodie. And it's defintely NSFW.

With that said, let's talk Bob Saget.

Bob Saget likes to talk dirty.

Yes. I kid you not.

Bob Saget swears more than a drunken sailor on shore leave. If that sailor liked to say "fuck" and "motherfucker"...A LOT.

Bob Saget is NOT the loveable doofus dad he played on Full House.

And that's just fine with Bob Saget.

So enjoy this music video with comedian/rapper Jamie Kennedy and the man himself, Bob Saget. Watch carefully and you'll see some funny cameos from some pretty well-known old dudes.

Again, Bob Saget is NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

And for more funny videos, click here.