« Britney Spears, Boring As a Quaker »

Ah, yes, the good old days.

Where have you gone, Britney Spears? It's like you have turned overnight into Jenny Garth. And not the Jenny Garth who used to party with Shannon Doherty during their Beverly Hills 90210 heyday, or a few weeks in 1990 at least, before they started a'feuding and a'fighting for the rest of the decade; no, I'm talking about the boring mother of three Jenny Garth who is too wholesome even for Got Milk commercials because she is just so damn annoyingly good and wholesome, as seen in this Croc ad below.

Soon Britney will be doing Croc ads. Instead of crock albums.

Yes, Britney, your fans are not fans of The Osmonds or Yanni. Anymore. Your newfound over-the-top goodness will not help your records sales or, more importantly, this blog, which is, as you are no doubt aware, dedicated to serving mankind by exploiting celebrities for cheap laughs.

So Britney, if you don't let loose, get freaky or shave something pronto, your boring, non-drinking, non-partying, non-hooking-up-ass will fade into obscurity faster than Elisha What's Her Face or Andy Dick.

Okay, that very last part about Dick crossed the line and I apologize.

But damn, Britney, you know you wanna do it, meaning something reckless and/or hopefully regrettable. Call up your paparazzi friends and let them know Britney Spears is back! Hit the nightclubs, have a few, tell people what you really think, especially on the street, in front of the cameras. Hell, if that's too much, then just walk down Ventura Boulevard in Hollywood. DO SOMETHING!

Make you feel good.

See also Crazy/Fun Britney.