Many moons ago I was probably like you. Sure, maybe I was shorter, taller, thinner or fatter, getting some more or maybe even getting some less, but in the essential element of life, we were the same.

We both had ambition. Mojo, if you will.

In fact, not so long ago, I had an idea which was so BOLD AND BEAUTIFUL that girls stared longingly at me just for thinking it. This idea was innovative, creative, audacious and bodacious.

But sadly, it was not to be.

What is or "was" this idea, you ask?

Simply put, I wanted to create a web site, nay, a MOVEMENT dedicated to one thing and one thing only: blaming every single problem in the world on Kevin Bacon.

Sadly, though, after an initial burst of energy, my inspiration collided with my lack of web design talent and, uh, lack of a trust fund.

Damn my poor-white-trashiness-slash-laziness!

So instead I forgot about this grand scheme. This "I Blame Kevin Bacon" movement was left in the trash heap of history...

UNTIL NOW!

So please enjoy the two installments of I Blame Kevin Bacon. And please remember: YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME. Kevin Bacon is.

1. I Blame Kevin Bacon...for Millions of Boring Jokes About How White People Can't Dance

2. I Blame Kevin Bacon for Everything that Goes Wrong Today

And with that, this saga has officially run its course. Why, you ask?

I'm not exactly sure but...

I BLAME KEVIN BACON.