« Is the Motorboat All It's Cracked Up to Be? »

In our culture there are some acts so natural and so right in so many ways YET, bizarrely and sadly, so NOT discussed by anyone but the strangest of freaks or weirdos, or me, amongst polite company.

Yet, anyone who has ever tried said acts inevitably and immediately realize their greatness and vouch for them like they were vouching for Their Cousin Vinny.

The Motorboat is one such act. If you're not familiar with this deed, I urge you to watch Wedding Crashers for Vince Vaughn's excellent demonstration.

Soon, you too will be motorboating like nobody's business. If your partner is also a newbie to the ways of the motorboat, be sure to explain it to him or her. Remember, as Dr. Phil likes to say, "Shut up and buy my book." Or, as your screwed-up advice doctor, Mike Doe would put it, "Healthy relationships have lots of communication. And so should yours."

And if you don't have such a healthy relationship or partner, or even if you do, consider placing an ad on Craig's List. Your in-box will, no doubt, soon be filled with many, many classy responses.

And to answer the deeper existential question asked by this essay, "Is the Motorboat All It's Cracked Up to Be?"

I think we all know the answer to this question is "YES."

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UPDATE: In the interests of being less obscure and promoting The Motorboat worldwide, I have included the slightly altered Urban Dictionary definition below.

Motorboat - v. int. The act of pushing one's face in between two ample b**bs, and rocking one's head side to side very rapidly while making a vigorous, lip-vibrating "brrr" sound. - n. The sound produced when doing a motorboat.

See also Bikinis, Bartenders and Vodka.