Some of us get kindly old grandparents doling out words of wisdom like they're cones filled with luscious ice cream.

Others of us get feisty grandmas and grandpas riding rollercoasters or, better yet, their RVs in cross-country adventures.

Whether you got kindly and wise, or fearless and feisty, or even around only once in a blue moon, you all have one thing in common: YOU DID BETTER THAN MIKE DOE IN THE GRANDPARENT DEPARTMENT.

Yes, that's right, not to bitch and moan, but I got screwed! And not in an inebriated bridesmaid looking to party with a dude, me, who happens to be available and morally suggestible at that particular moment, okay, most particular moments, kind of way.

Nope, I am talking about never getting one word of wisdom, much less ice cream cones full of them. I am talking about never getting one moment, not even slight and fleeting, of inspiration.

And don't even get me started on my zero inheritance. Zero holiday cards. Zero birthday calls. Zero...ANYTHING!

Oh wait, there is one thing. Somehow it slipped my mind. Out of fairness, I will have to take my bitching back just a teeny, tiny notch.

Every year my family got a subscription to Reader's Digest. Yep, that's right. Reader's Digest. Short tiny digests of magazine articles and all the funny anecdotes I'm sure my grandparents meant to tell me themselves.

As we would say in the suburbs of my youth: "Whoop dee fucking doo!"

Oh yeah, about the movie clip. It's from Little Miss Sunshine. Alan Arkin as the free-spirited badass grandfather, gives out some unconventional advice ot his grandson, Dwayne, the 15-year old would-be-pilot who has taken a vow of silence until he gets accepted into one of the military academies.

Enjoy the video. Heed the advice. And be good to your grandkids, if you ever end up having any, or, hell, if you already do. Buy them shit, if you can. If not, tell them funny stories. Don't have any? Make some up! Listen to them, call on big days, or small ones. Do something to let them know you care.

Just don't disappear from their lives and not give a shit. That's bad in the actually bad, very much not cool sense.