Finally, the Democratic Party has united! In a stunning new campaign video, the two leading candidates for the Democratic nomination for president, Senators Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, have decided to give peace a chance!

This joint campaign video clearly demonstrates that someone, somewhere, must be listening to my political advice, for once, and STOP WHINING ABOUT THE OTHER CAMPAIGNS.

In this remarkable campaign video, aptly entitled I'm Fucking Obama and patterned after the infamous Sara Silverman video, I'm Fucking Matt Damon, which was followed by the even more scandalous Jimmy Kimmel video, I'm Fucking Ben Affleck, the Clinton and Obama campaigns have joined forces to end what has seemed like years of nonstop bitching and moaning.

So, please, let us follow their lead and get some Kumbaya up in this motherfucker. Doe-Nuts, clearly WE are now controlling this election. Let's use our power wisely, or at least score some decent bribes, er, political advertising dollars!