« Don't Mess With Blue Or You Might Get Kicked in the Balls, Old School Style »


There is nothing worse than getting kicked in the ball. Or so I've been told. Having two, count 'em, TWO BALLS myself, I could not relate.

However, one person who could relate is Joseph "Blue" Palasky, the 100-year old freshman fraternity pledge from Old School, played by the actor, Patrick Cranshaw, who in real life was notorious for kicking people in the balls. Both men and women. In fact, according to legend, this is the true origin of the term "blue balls."

Blue was a bitter man. A great man, but a bitter man, Blue was. Oh sweet Blue.

Sadly, Blue died before he could live out his ultimate dream: wrestling and feel-copping and possibly ball-kicking with several young, nubile female wrestlers in a pit of KY Jelly, the adult personal lubricant that has helped more couples get some than Jagr bombs and Baywatch reruns. And single dudes, too, really, although mostly it has helped them with themselves.

The physical body of Blue died, yes, but let's face it, the man kicked so much ass and kicked so many balls, that you know he died a happy man. And his spirit lives on, wherever old dudes are getting drunk with younger dudes, or groping girls younger even than their granddaughters, or, most of all, and Blue would be proud, wherever someone is getting kicked in the ball or balls.

So on behalf of everyone here at this comedy blog, allegedly, including the missing Intern Bob when we find him, my so-called agent, and all the Doe-Nuts, I would like to quote the words of Will Ferrell, who played Frank, the naked streaking dude with the SMALL WIENER, or maybe it was just cold outside, hey, it happens, to other guys, who in Old School left his wife and became a college fraternity brother.

You're my boy, Blue. You're my boy.

See also Frank the Tank.