Finding gainful employment ain't easy. Keeping it is even harder. For me.

But, what the hell, unemployment has its perks: FREE TIME! To write crazy stuff and bask in the adoration of millions of fans, and enjoy the millions of dollars in Google Adsense revenue that keeps pouring in.

Oh yes, life is sweet, my friends!

"Garçon, more caviar for the ladies! Chop, chop!"

However, before I return to my fish eggs, here's a funny movie clip from Office Space, and is there any other kind, where the Bobs, consultants who are hired to fire the deadweight, are interviewing the very desperate Tom Smykowski about his job duties, or lack thereof.

Oh, and if you feel like committing this scene to memory like a certain unnamed millionaire comedy blogger, the lines are below:

Bob Slydell: What would you say ya do here?

Tom Smykowski: Well look, I already told you! I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

Which reminds me, to all the so-called hiring managers and HR people out there who keep not hiring me, or interviewing me, or even knowing who the hell I am even though I am clearly not sending you my resume and, well, don't even actually have a resume, come to think of it, damn it, and, speaking of which, why is my agent not doing jack shit AND still getting 10 percent of my action...?

But I digress. To all of them I'd like to ask the following carefully-worded question:

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

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UPDATE: Several Doe-Nuts have quite astutely pointed that MikeDoe.net does not, with all due regard to the truthiness, have any Google Adsense ads posted anywhere. Not a one. Of this, though, I was not aware. Allegedly. And let me tell you, I cannot help but feel a bit duped. However, I promise you that HEADS WILL ROLL! As soon as I find my Intern Bob, he has some serious explaining to do!