EXPOSED: The Shocking Origins of April Fool's Day
Anyone can run an April Fool's Day post on April 1. Sure, that would be and IS the lazy, predictable, CONFORMIST approach. Of someone who wasn't hung over.
But you can count on one thing at this comedy blog: we are NEVER predictable, baby. And thank you for not rolling your eyes when I, uh, "WE" write "we." Or when Mike Doe refers to himself in the third person.
Because let's face the facts. Everyone knows that stuff written on April 1 is full of crap! Except for the dimwits and nimrods and dumbfucks who fall for everything.
And such lowlifes are not welcome here, unless they are cute, nubile and morally suggestible. And female! Born that way! Innie not outtie!
Exceptions are also made for wealthy, generous ladies of repute, ill or otherwise, regardless of age, appearance or nubility.
Tori Spelling: CALL ME...Mama Candy: YOU TOO!
About now you are probably saying to yourself: "But 'April Fool's Day' is in the headline, Mike Doe. Doesn't that eliminate the element of surprise?"
To answer, I shall quote our official celebrity endorser, allegedly, Homer Simpson: "Ha ha! Fooled you!"
UPDATE: Yes, Mike Doe is sorry for this post. As he should be. Every last word. Although to be fair, it was written entirely by my new intern: Intern Bob.
Mike Doe
4 Comments
Reader Comments (4)
See, you're all educational and stuff.
Weird.
But srsly, TORI SPELLING? Please tell me you were drunk when you picked her.Her head always looks too big for her body (except when she was preggers)...like an orange on a toothpick.
Baby I'm not f-f-f-foolin'.
aka_monty,
It's true: Tori Spelling is hard to look at. And she's not even EASY! Just ask her old boyfriend from Beverly Hills 90210. But Tori is loaded, more or less, which is kinda the whole point.
Plus, how could you not love that photo?!
As for her MOTHER...CANDY...I mean, how could I not include her? Her name practically "spells" out "sugarmama!"
OOh..is she still breast feeding? Umm..whoa. I was kinda surprised at this photo but you know do your thing girl! Thanks for the giggles! ; )
Hey Jennifer,
Yeah, I can't tell if Tori's five months pregnant in this photo, or maybe a few months into mommyhood. Either way, though, her knockers have definitely outgrown her original, uh, implants!