Are We Electing a President or a Whiner-in-Chief?
The next presidential candidate or campaign that whines about the other side's campaign is going to LOSE. I HOPE. Starting....NOW!
Whoever whines this election will still get the job, I guess, but damn. It's like we have schoolchildren fighting over who can cry the loudest over who got the biggest paper cut. Or always tattling to TEACHER (the media) about how Little Jack called her a poopy-head, or Little Jill stuck an ice cube down his shirt.
Even Little Bo Peep is embarrassed at this point.
So here's my message on behalf of everyone who is not completely on the bandwagon for any particular candidate -- you know, the undecided voter -- to all the people who are trying to sell us on their candidate...
STOP WHINING ABOUT THE OTHER CAMPAIGNS!
If your name is Barack Obama, or Hillary Clinton, or even John McCain...
STOP WHINING ABOUT THE OTHER CAMPAIGNS!
If you support any of the above three presidential candidates...
STOP WHINING ABOUT THE OTHER CAMPAIGNS!
If you work for them in a paid, unpaid or secret capacity...
STOP WHINING ABOUT THE OTHER CAMPAIGNS!
If you like them, love them, or, hell, even worship them...
STOP WHINING ABOUT THE OTHER CAMPAIGNS!
If you are a member of the media, especially MSNBC, CNN or FoxNews...
STOP WHINING ABOUT THE OTHER CAMPAIGNS!
If you are one of the countless political pundits who allegedly are NOT supporting any particular candidate, uh yeah, this means you too...
STOP WHINING ABOUT THE OTHER CAMPAIGNS!
If you are a political site like the Huffington Post, Daily Kos, Town Hall and I'd put another conservative site up if I could think of one, so please don't whine about that, but, oh well, who we kidding, whining about other campaigns is what these sites do but DAMN, can't you at least for one minute of one day...
STOP WHINING ABOUT THE OTHER CAMPAIGNS!
If you are even following just a little bit this presidential election...
STOP WHINING ABOUT THE OTHER CAMPAIGNS!
You hear me? Please, I am asking you. No, I am begging you...
STOP WHINING ABOUT THE OTHER CAMPAIGNS!
We have never witnessed such prolonged and intense whining about anything in the history of this country. Come on people, get your act together, get tough, stop the bullshit crybaby act AND stop embarrassing yourselves and, more importantly, the United States of America.
STOP WHINING ABOUT THE OTHER CAMPAIGNS!
This is an election about who should lead the United States, not who has the more effective whining organization.
STOP WHINING ABOUT THE OTHER CAMPAIGNS!
Try some humor. Try some organizing. Try being educational. Try just being tough. But stop the fake outrage and the holier than thou bullshit. No one's buying it aside from the media and the people in your own campaign, paid or unpaid. Stop whining about you know what...and you might just win...this voter at least.
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UPDATE: Just got emails from all three campaigns accusing me of being completely right...about their opponents...and otherwise completely wrong.
Mike Doe
6 Comments
Reader Comments (6)
I watch English Premier League football/soccer. I guess I'm used to the whining in this campaign, having heard it from losing coaches after almost every match.
Obama missed a great opportunity when the Drudge Report picture was published. He could have just gone, "Yes, that's a picture of me," but he fell into the trap.
Whatever happened to "nobody likes a crybaby?"
Campaign coverage is all pissing and moaning, all the time. At least with sports, you get the fun of the game, but it's annoying there too.
Once upon a time politicians were too busy focusing on little things like the issues to be wasting time shouting "I'm tellin'. Now the "I'm tellin'" is an excuse to avoid the issues. A hilarious slap in the face that those who most need it will total ignore.
Ooh, *applause*! Point well taken! And it's motivational, too. The next time I catch myself with drudgy thoughts, I'm going to hear, "STOP WHINING!" :-D
HEY. I thought i left a comment here last night. I DID, because I said it sounded like you were channelling Dr. Laura for a minute with the STOP WHINING.
Except I really hate Dr. Laura.
And it was such a good comment I left too. Something about cultural importance and how I want a candidate who's all "Yeah, I had a $25 hooker when I was younger and I smoked some dope now & then and so WHAT THE FUCK OF IT?"
Damn. I blame your blog for this subsequent substandard comment.
I'm gonna keep whining. I say anyone who votes can whine. But if you don't vote, then don't whine. :)