Photo of kid lying on a pig.

The pig. Nature's dirtiest animal. A euphemism for messy and disgusting. After all, what other animal eats its own feces, outside of Two Girls, One Cup?

Yet, ironically, the pig is a wonderful loving creature in addition to its filthy ways. And pigs offer mankind the one au natural method of losing weight: BACON.

Yes, you read that correctly. According to longtime nutritional expert, Bob Evans, BACON IS THE #1 DIET FOOD OF ALL TIME.

Why? Well, bacon is highest in the best friend of any dieter: FAT. And, yes, even some protein which helps keep your muscles happy.

These unsassailable FACTS might shock you. In fact, you might be thinking "Mike Doe, you are full of it AND I hate you!"

This reaction would not be surprising considering the BILLIONS AND BILLIONS of dollars spent denying, defying and decrying the wonders of LOVELY LUSCIOUS FAT in our foods by the following EVIL LOW-FAT PROFITEERS:

1. Food Manufacturers of high sugar, high calorie junk food

2. Women's Magazines saturated with fat misinformation

3. Anti-Bacon Propagandists posing as nutritionists

4. Lazy Journalists duped by the anti-bacon hype from 1-3.

So don't believe the lies! Load up on bacon. Sizzling greasy bacon is your best friend if you're trying to drop a few pounds. It tastes damn good, the protein will feed your muscles AND the fat will fill you up. And you'll be energized for hours.

Or you could try some low-fat factory "food" and find yourself gorging on entire boxes and bags until you're practically in a diabetic coma.

In other words, it all comes down to a simple choice:

Fat in your food or fat on your ass?

Photo of Very Cute Bacon-Eating Beach Babes.

Bacon: 'cause it's the right thing to do.

See also Vodka: the Healthy Choice.