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Do Skinny Models Drink Vodka?

Skinny models choose vodka. Here's why, mathematically speaking.

Models ARE really skinny people.

Really skinny people MUST EAT low carbohydrate diets to stay really skinny.

Models GO TO lots of parties. vodka%20vodka.jpg

Partying REQUIRES lots of boozing.

THEREFORE...

Models + lots of parties = really skinny people drinking lots of booze while somehow staying really skinny.

HENCEFORTH...

Models MUST DRINK low carbohydrate booze.

AND SINCE...

Vodka = lowest carbohydrate booze on the market.

NOT TO MENTION...

Vodka = base alcohol for lots of tasty cocktails.

PLUS...

Vodka GIVES ZERO alcohol breath.

WHICH MEANS...

Models can booze harder without people smelling booze breath.

THEREFORE...

SKINNY MODELS CHOOSE VODKA

vodka%20party.jpg

Do you agree? Disagree? Make your case and you just might win a free vodka martini courtesy of Mike Doe if/when you and me drink in DC!

Posted on October 3, 2007 at 04:55PM by Registered CommenterMike Doe in , , , | Comments23 Comments

Reader Comments (23)

I agree!!!!!!

October 3, 2007 | Unregistered Commenter(not)-Maria

Maria, I must insist that you elaborate further.

The vodka martini is a highly valuable prize, only to be awarded to respondents who present their case in a logical and compelling manner.

And this ain't it.

October 3, 2007 | Registered CommenterMike Doe

Agree to disagree---NOT!

October 3, 2007 | Unregistered Commenter(not)-Maria

That's OK. You're a great human being and that's all that matters. So the prize is yours. And I apologize for my unreasonable insistence that you adhere to the generally accepted principles of logic and persuasion.

...

...

...

Not.

October 3, 2007 | Registered CommenterMike Doe

I apologize for my comment tantrum. I had not yet read your response to my previous comment on your cold rebuke of my attentions. I do agree. And I want to win. The prize. I am committed.

October 3, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

I am relieved. Thank you for bringing civility back to the blogosphere.

Now...are you claiming that skinny models DO NOT CHOOSE VODKA?

If so, how do you intend to back up such an outlandish claim?

October 3, 2007 | Registered CommenterMike Doe

"SKINNY MODELS CHOOSE VODKA...
"Do you agree? Disagree? Make your case and you just might win a free vodka martini courtesy of Mike Doe if/when you and me drink in DC!"

Maria says: "I do agree [that SKINNY MODELS CHOOSE VODKA]."

What's so hard about that?

MikeDoe, your circular wordsmanship will not muddle my mind!

October 3, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

I muddle drinks, not minds. Consider your retort to be rejected AND rebuked!

Game, set and match goes to...Mike Doe!

October 3, 2007 | Registered CommenterMike Doe

Come to my neighborhood one of these days, and we'll see about that.. Mike...Dodo!

October 3, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

Oh no you didn't...dem's fighting words, Maria!

And there's only one way to settle it. A good old-fashioned drink off.

Consider yourself challenged. I shall send the details and the particulars via certified mail in the none-too-distant future.

Prepare for your doom!

October 3, 2007 | Registered CommenterMike Doe

Bring it. But leave your diapers at home this time - it's just embarrassing.

October 3, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

It's G-O time.

Also, please consider yourself notified that the results of our drinking contest will be reported at MikeDoe.net AND other major media outlets throughout the United States, as well as Ireland, of course.

October 3, 2007 | Registered CommenterMike Doe

I drink vodka.
I am skinny.
I am not a model.
Models are skinny.

But I don't think there is any sort of causal relationship between my boozing choice and my build. I don't drink enough to make a caloric difference.

November 16, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterdrlenna

Dear Twitter Friend Dr. Lenna,

May I call you Doc?

You are skinny, indeed, but you are athletic-skinny from your years of slicing up fools with your fencing sword. This is very different than model-skinny, which generally comes from a combination of diet (celery and power bars) and exercise (running to the bathroom after eating celery and power bars.)

Your skinniness, I do believe, has zero causal connection to your insatiable appetite for vodka. Hence they are unrelated and 2+2 does not, in fact, equal 5.

So I agree with everything that you wrote. Except for the parts where you were clearly wrong.

Hope this clears everything up.

November 20, 2007 | Registered CommenterMike Doe

Dear Mike Doe,

You can call me Doc if you like.

Actually, I'm mainly skinny due to genetics, partially due to a healthy diet growing up. Athleticism makes me gain weight.

But the point here is models. I only know one model, but I haven't talked to her for years and I never knew her alcohol consumption patterns. Perhaps it will forever remain a mystery.

November 21, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterdrlenna

Doc, I promise to come back with more empirical research on this important subject. Not that I was just making stuff up before (no, never!) but personal interviews can bolster any argument.

"Hey baby, I'm working on a research project about hot chicks drinking vodka..." (SMACK) (OUCH)

November 23, 2007 | Registered CommenterMike Doe

i would have fun with the boy in the middle

February 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterphih;hji;

You go, girl! Or boy? Uh, we're all about the vodka-fueled action here at MikeDoe.net. Good times and such!

February 6, 2008 | Registered CommenterMike Doe

Oh, very scientific, I like it.

I will not be participating in the contest because I'm not a skinny model, therefore I don't drink Vodka. I'm a average size woman (or plus-size, if I was a model) who drinks fro-fro fruity drinks, when I do drink. Just thought you'd want to know.

February 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMyFickleMind

I was freakishly skinny back in the day, and I was all about some vodka. I was not a model though.

February 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

MyFickleMind,

Vodka is good for all of us, not just those super skinny models working the runway.

My suggestion is to take your favorite mixed drink and substitute vodka. It'll taste just great and you'll get the wonderful party- and diet-enhancing benefits too.

February 9, 2008 | Registered CommenterMike Doe

Nicole,

Most party girls realize the benefits of vodka. I'm surprised vodka wasn't featured more prominently in Zoolander. I mean, it's crucial to life on the catwalk!

February 9, 2008 | Registered CommenterMike Doe

I'm pleased vodka doesn't give you booze breath... It appeals to my sneaky side.

February 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTerence

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